I'll leave the door open all night..
... "If you decide you want to stop on by... Come to me, I'm the only broken hearted loser you'll ever need. "

It has snowed. Again. I wouldn't mind it if they were not planning on taking away our spring break to compensate for all the days we have had off. Yes, they are. At least we only had a delay today.

All in all, today was anything but exciting. I doodled in math today. We have a test tomorrow.

I did not do my math homework until the period before it was due. And you know- I only did it because there was nothing else to do.

The lady at the yarn store did not wind up my hank of Cascade 220 yarn, so I had to wind it up myself. And it ended in tragedy. Cascade 220 > Me.

"Only you can make things happen in your life."
I read this quote yesterday, and even though it sounds like it would be hung up in a classroom [which was not where I read it from..] it really hit me. I do feel like I have been waiting for something to happen, someone to say something to me, and honestly- I feel so stupid now that I have realized this. There is so much that I want to get accomplished, but why do I not do them? I guess I do expect things to just happen to me, which is not a great way to view life!

I have been feeling slightly rushed lately, mostly because I have also come to the realization of what death is. I've always thought of death as some kind of luxury that I have to wait to come around because nothing matters when you are dead. But I have never note that when you are dead- you cannot realize how wonderful the meaninglessness is because you are, after all, not alive.

But you would not necessarily know that you are dead if you were, because you'd be dead. So that brings me to this point: How do you really know if you are alive or not? And, once again, why does it matter if you achieve something great- you would not be around after you are gone- and you do not even know if everyone else is here after you are dead to acknowledge your accomplishments, because this could be merely a dream.

*sigh* All this thinking makes me feel so hopeless, actually. My sleeping meds are not working, at least not as well as I anticipated them to be. I already said that I do not expect these to do miracle work.. But gosh- I am so messed up that I am medicated to sleep. Sleeping is such a natural thing. And I take meds for them- and they don't even work. I mean really, what is the point of even trying here.

/emo-ness.